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Submitted on
October 25, 2003
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The Earth and all her jubilee and might,
 and self-inflicted hardship overcome,
 and doctrine forged to settle wrong and right
no more can tell her doctors from the Sun-

with science and scripture stirred and made the same,
 and idols cast from dirt and lust and gold,
 and sunlight ploughed and passed a clever name,
 and beauty culled and bought and used and sold,

thus, sun and beauty bound and in a mew,
 as each one treads your lashes and your hair,
but glossy doctrines cast and mould and skew;
 and you can't tell the sunlight from the glare-

  and don the golden makeup and disguise,
  as lashes keep the sunlight from your eyes.
Some morning sunlight, a special somebody, and a pissy world inspired this.

'tis a Shakespearean sonnet-- for those who don't know, to achieve the maximum possible showing off, the form involves 14 lines of iambic pentameter (10 syllables per line, even syllables stressed, odd unstressed), three verses dealing with the main theme in slightly different ways (I'm actually not 100% sure how strict that is), and a summarylike rhyming couplet. ababcdcdefefgg rhyme scheme. And it shouldn't be spaced out like it is here.. but I think it makes it easier on the eyes, and much as I love the form, 'tis but a form.

Tell me what you'd do with this.

I'm most pleased. :)

Stock photograph- [link]
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Daily Deviation

Given 2003-12-12
Your Eyes by +pachunka "tis a Shakespearean sonnet," the poet says in his comments. Pachunka explains what that means but reading this poem causes one to forget "form" as sound sinks the reader into meaning. ( Featured by jsenn )
:iconrozzi-dk:
Rozzi-dk Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Nice :D
Reply
:icongallymont:
gallymont Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2009
I aggree with the spacing, especially when you deal with quatrains and coupletes. However, just to talk about form; if it's a Shakespearean sonnet then there's just two little problems.

Lines 2 and 4, overcome and sun, aren't true rhyme, they're closer to slant rhyme - which isn't shakespearean.

Line 5 has 11 syllables.

But as you said, a form is a form, and nothing more.
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:iconthe-grey-fox:
the-grey-fox Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2008
this is a really beautiful sonnet, but of course noone said shakespeare was ever dull in his line of work.
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:iconapolloswan:
apolloswan Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008
I really think this is well written, but doesn't the 5th line contain eleven syllables? It just kinda threw me.
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:iconpachunka:
pachunka Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008  Professional Artist
=oddlyaromatic pointed that out a whole lot too. I was pronouncing 'science' with one syllable back when I wrote this. Bit of a stretch. ;)
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:iconapolloswan:
apolloswan Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2008
It's not really that bad though.
Reply
:iconiamthemanda:
IAmTheManda Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2006
I love it. I personaly think it would look great for a add in a magazine.
Reply
:iconblonde-thinking:
blonde-thinking Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2006
nice pic very pretty
Reply
:iconskippyjr:
SkippyJr Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2006   Filmographer
Wow,
This is is beautiful,
Very good writing,
I loved this poem.
Reply
:iconfreefeege:
FreeFeege Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2005  Student Artist
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!
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