The First Time TravelO.U.ARCHIVE ENTRY U3BKJ
There is an incident recorded in Operation Universifix's database known commonly as the "first" time travel.
"First?", you may ask. Problems with chronology-related language are frequent for the uninitiated here at Operation Universifix, but please bear with us.
There was once a saloon, ultraspatially situated at what is now the center of the city Zero Zero.
This saloon was round and tall, with a balcony circling the inside of what would be the bar's 2nd floor if anybody could get to it. There was no staircase. There were, however, five doors up there.
Four of these doors have never been opened, and the remaining door - the middle door - has been opened only twice.
Strict anti-chrontamination measures mean that no-one at Universifix has seen what is behind the door. Furthermore, the erratic chronotopology surrounding the events during the establishment's establishment mean that a suitable time-boundry alignment cannot be found for traveling to witness
Me and Mr. PoohMe and RP got on the last meteor to the planet Lavablob.
A wise choice?
Lavablob is called Earth these days by the cool kids; but way back then, Lavablob was all rocks and lava and nowhere to sit.
The meteor-journey was ass-long and the planet looked completely different from the brochure by the time we got there; not to mention the name change.
But it was fun on the way -- we spent most of the trip in frozen stasis. At least we were supposed to.
We would sneak out onto the rock some nights and play tricks.
Frozen passengers have a high tolerance for getting flung overboard.
(It was an accident!)
We figured out how to steer the meteor too,
That probably extended the trip a bit.
The AI robot pilot didn't care. He was robo-drunk half the time. The three of us played a whole lot of cards and sang badly into the spacey night.
Comets and nebulas were our audience; we had a radio-telescope to listen to them applaud.
We made a deal with robo-dude not to have our memories erased like